Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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