Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
