could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
