i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize