we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
