its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
