talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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