I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You ruined the universe
Randomize
