We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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