I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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