He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
