If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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