i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize