Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
