My first STD was from a foam party
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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