yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
