part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
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He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
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Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors