i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize