New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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