It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
