wakey wakey hands off snakey
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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