glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
