I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
