mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
