My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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