I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize