Sry I called you an 8
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
