I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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