I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
