Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
