She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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