I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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