i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize