I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
