Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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