guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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