Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
