The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
