he wants to bone in the snuggie
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
