Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize