i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
They have beer where we have blood.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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