Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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