repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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