puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
