Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
