Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
