don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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