You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize