going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
