I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
