So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
