Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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