I cockslap morals
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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