The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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