sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize