we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
